Happy Birthday

This morning, when I took the dogs out for there morning constitutional, I heard a disturbance in the tall pines off to the side of the house. At first, I thought it was the busy squirrels. As I looked up, I could see the pine cones falling. My initial though was, the first day of fall and they know what to do. The trees have color, the fields lining the roads are golden with highlights of dark pink and purple. The beauty of this time is beyond words. I compare this vista to my wise sisters. They to have beauty that streams afar with seasoned perceptions running like deep undercurrents alerting the pines to lose there cones. How fortunate I am to have them in my life. I like to speculate on the mystical force that brought us together and the trust that we have between the 4 of us. Fate, definitely played a part in our birth, but was there another time and another place that we were together? I do not have the definitive answer; that lies within purple rimmed fields of gold.

Today is the birthday of The Wolf Spiders. We are 6 years old. That is an accomplishment. Coven years are like dog and cat years. Many Covens do not make it past the 2 or 3 year mark, yet here we are still strong and going forward. We have been thru tragedy, loss, sickness and conflicts and yet we still stand together.

By Kith and Kin,

Wise Sisters step in.

By Serpent and Toad,

we are the Sisters of old

As above, So Below

Wise Sisters,

I will see you at the cross roads

We are in our season, and this is the time of our lives.

Transition of the garden

As I approach the Autumn Equinox or Mabon, I am reminded of the work that must be done on the ridge. The physical tasks are many and with my bodily disposition, it all seems very daunting. During the warm weather months, I was able to slowly work away on a memorial garden. I immediately named it “The Ancestor’s Garden” as they were the ones that guided me; but as I transition the small space for the winter, I realize how much it represents. From the placement of a rock to the growth of a new vine, this space is very sacred. I’ve used it for my summer hearth, a meditation destination for late night dilemmas, a reverence for a lost brother and planted friendships for my dearest circle sisters, new and old. How then, do I put this to rest for the cold? It feels like the parent that moves south for the winter, leaving the adult child to deal with the impending winds that will soon change the landscape.

This is how treasured the newly arranged garden has become to my soul; greeting it in the morn as the  blooms open, saying hello as I return from my day of struggles and a  good night with a shot of Bushmill’s Irish Whiskey. My space has become a steadfast friend, a conspirator of relief- knowing that it will always be in my path as I return from each day’s journey.

 

The realization that I would need to ask for help with the upcoming tasks, came to me with a slap to the temple as I tried in vain to fix a fallen trellis the other evening. An unforgiving tree branch knocked me on the side of my head and left the inevitable goose egg.

I am struggling.

 The transition of this garden represents the changes that are upon me that I must go forward with.  Asking for help when you are the usual giver of such is not always comfortable.  

With that, I retreated to my in-door space.

 I took control of my daughter’s old bedroom some years back and made it in to my “arte of the craft” room.  It is overflowing with aspects of my workings, books, music, dance costumes to list a few, but dedicated to my Ancestors, Spirits and Guides to whom I speak with on a daily basis. I poised the question to them (Ancestors, Spirits and Guides) and they never lie to me…sometimes they speak in riddle and I must decipher what they are trying to say. But they never leave me without. My relationship with them is built on trust; this is not a one way street. We rely on each other to communicate and to do the work; and like most relationships, this took time to build. It was not a light the candle come what May situation. I had to prove myself and sincerity to them, and learn to listen….

I heard them loud and clear. 

My lesson from them is this: To be a healer you need to be healed. To understand pain, you need to feel pain. To be able to help others, you need to ask for help.

So today, 24 hours after my first surgery since my car accident, I can reflect back on the lessons of the last 2 years. The spiritual growth has been immense. Growth is not painless, if that was the case, we would not resist it. However, knowing that my pain is also a phase (sometimes a long one) gives me the gumption to push ahead.  

The transition of my garden, my summer space, needs to be shared with those that love me and look to me for kinship. What a perfect place and time to ask for help and celebrate Mabon, the birth place and date of my circle of Sisters.

 

 

I dedicate this to my brother Richard who passed away this winter.

I find myself a little melancholy as we fully enter the season of re-birth. It seems we skipped a large part of spring that I look forward to every year since I was a young child. The very beginning of newness and discovery-the time when the grass is still brown, the leaves have not begun to fully bud, let alone tulips in bloom. As a child, this is the time that I would set out in my boots and poncho and explore the field next to my house, the property behind our barns and the creek that ran behind them. The winter snows in central New York always had a way to leave strange things behind or uncovered. I remember specifically walking the field, thinking aloud and talking to whoever would listen about my discoveries. As much as I loved to muck the field, the sight of the initial stages of leaf buds and the tops of flower bulb greens poking out of the earth, always put joy in my heart. Even as a child, I was in tune to seasonal rites. I suppose we really did not skip this part of the season, it was just fast tracked and like anything else, when you do not appreciate what is in front of you, it will be gone quickly. So my lesson learned, It will not happen again to me by my own oversight.

So, with the seasonal weeks ahead of us in this circular race, many are playing catch up with their spring cleaning. I have to say that I am doing good in this particular area. A few years back, I started to put myself in the spring mind set during the Imbolc holy tides and observances. February for me, marks a transition month; a time to take stock in what you have become during the darker, hermit times and where you want to be as you emerge. The long winter nights as a child seemed like they were never ending. I won’t go into detail now (another blog perhaps)of the utter dismay that I had as a child during these nights. I will say that I have learned to embrace them as the time of great learning and healing that my body and spirit need for survival. I liken this to the animal that has shed it’s former skin or shell. When I emerge my colors are more vibrant, I feel more supple. But alas, with growth and discarding of the old comes the need for cleansing and clearing. My closet runneth over. We all know that the mundane work has to be done and much of it can go hand in hand with your spiritual, magical and mental housekeeping. However, in my life it is just as important and maybe more so to put the many lessons of the winter to creation. To do this, I must have a clear road/path. I know at this time what or who needs to be discarded. This may sound a little harsh, but when you have had a long winter of healing the hurts of your heart, it is time to go forth,  take care of yourself and your own backyard. If you have survived the winter and still do not know the truth of your heart, your path may  have many obstacles that a spring cleaning will not fix. With that said, the first full moon of spring this year falls on Good Friday. Although I am not a practicing Christian of sorts, I do have a Christian background and I recognize the spiritual energy that abounds. Why not tap into that energy and use it for your own needs?(I did this at lent with incredible results)

I will use it. I will clean up the sheds of my winter and give them to my earth spirits to recycle. I will discard those who chose not to be a part of my winter evolution, because as the wheel turns, so does the understanding of my place in this universe. I do not wish them harm, I just wish them away. The blockage that they embody upon my lane does not serve me and my wellness. I thank them for the lessons and return to them that which is theirs-

I do not need it.

I do not want it.

I will not make apologies for this practice. I am very forgiving, loving and loyal. I have a slow fuse, but like most of us, I have a limit. When I make a clearing from my path, it is not an easy choice. It comes from much contemplation. It is hard, deliberate work that must always involve my Ancestors, Spirits and Guides; but when I realize the sweet release of the blockage, I know that I am living in my truth.

This winter has come to a close, and with it the middle road has been cleared for the influx of what the future holds.

I survived the loss of family and the sorrow that is it’s twin. I lived with the hermit for respite and found the remnants of the girl in the poncho. I took her hand and we walked thru the field. Together, we found the winter’s deposit and gathered it to ourselves. We walked to the creek and thanked the spirits. We returned as one to faced the road.

Richard and I... Spring 1970

*My ritual cleansing are my own that I share with those who can listen.*

The Tradition of death

Tonight this subject ways heavy on my mind, as I struggle with the unknown of the ways of others. Perhaps I am looking for comfort from a source that seems to be just out of reach or unavailable. I know what I want to say and what I want to do, but it is not his way. I look to the ridge and the passing of the seasons. I remember those who have passed and the visits they have gifted me with. I can only ponder as to where he will want to go and if he will stop by for a visit. Just in case, my candle will be lit to make the path bright. I will sing him to the place he needs to be. This is the only comfort that I know to offer him. The present family  tradition is not true to my heart, but I will stay silent in my words, only offering my personal interjection when I know that it will be received with the love of it's intent. This coming event is not of my ego, but of a remembrance of a hearty laugh, a quirky smile and the heart of gold. I go forth with these memories firmly in my mind to share with the future and those left behind.

Calico Hen: Preserve: October 2011

Calico Hen: Preserve: October 2011

Full Moon info and Indian Summer

I was recently asked about the full moon that is coming up and what I though was appropriate workings for this energy. So... I have attached info about this moon from the Farmer's Almanac and what my plans are for this moon.

October 11th Full Hunter’s Moon 10:06 pm

Full Hunter’s Moon or Full Harvest Moon – October This full Moon is often referred to as the Full Hunter’s Moon, Blood Moon, or Sanguine Moon. Many moons ago, Native Americans named this bright moon for obvious reasons. The leaves are falling from trees, the deer are fattened, and it’s time to begin storing up meat for the long winter ahead. Because the fields were traditionally reaped in late September or early October, hunters could easily see fox and other animals that come out to glean from the fallen grains. Probably because of the threat of winter looming close, the Hunter’s Moon is generally accorded with special honor, historically serving as an important feast day in both Western Europe and among many Native American tribes.

 I have also seen this moon referred to as the Warrior’s Moon.

Personally, after looking at the 10 day forecast, I am going to take total advantage of being outside on this night. It looks like this will be the last day of the Indian Summer, and after missing the fall season last year due to my accident, I want to fully experience it this year. For me to do this, I will need to reflect on the lesson learned in the past year. Please allow me to share.

One of the first things that I did when I was able to, was journal my experience from the accident. I needed to understand and grasp what had happened and the message that I need to hear. Some of them I will share with you and others are mine alone.

Control-do we really have control over anything? Maybe. I can control the shoes I wear to work today, but no matter how hard I try, other people’s actions are their own; some times you have to give up control to survive- mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Those are the big four in my book. The day of my accident, I had no control over any of them. Something greater stepped in and took control. No matter how hard I tried, I could not get out of the way of that truck hitting me head on. When I recall the impact, and when I started to go off the road, I watched it  from the back seat of the Tahoe. I saw my hair and watched my head bob back and forth. I still do not know were my body hit, I can only surmise by the injuries that occurred and the pain that I still feel.

 So, I ask, who took the wheel and got me off the road? Ancestors, Spirits, Guides?  I know that something did. I also know that there are not many days that I leave the house without some form of protection with me. Was that supposed to be my day to go forward to the next life. Maybe. What I can say is that as soon as I was able to hobble into my spirit room, I did. It was a challenge, (the first of many) but I had to honor what I knew had protected me.

The control lesson started at 10:00am on 10/05/10 and  has not stopped. From having a emergency facilitator sitting in my vehicle and seeing my Witch bag, to being trapped and literally cut out of my vehicle, to having my clothes removed-These and so many other events taught me that having control is letting it go.

Empathy- we all think we have it. I know that I always considered myself to be kind and considerate. But when you are seeing the world from an amigo electric grocery cart so that you can shop for groceries, the view is so different. I was judged or they looked past me. Why is she in that cart? When I struggled to reach for an item on a shelf, no one offered to help. (I started taking my grandson Carter with me. He is such a good helper and loved being there for me.) This is the public we live in. My shopping trips were emotional and exhausting. Walking into a restaurant with a cane was an experience. I was stared at and whispered about, but I did it, with a deep breath.

Help-Yes, I did needed it and I found a way to accept it and then say “Thank You” and many times that was followed by “I appreciate you” and "I love you".

In the ER, I asked Patty to make sure my mascara wasn't smudged. I had visions of Alice Cooper.

That night  I could not sleep because of the amount of pain I was in. I needed to take a combination of meds to get the pain at bay, so that meant that I needed to eat something. I had to wake Bo up at 3:00am. I was in tears and apologized several times for asking for his help. But we ate ice cream together in the middle of the night so I could take my meds.

The people who came and picked me,pushed me around in a wheel chair, carried my huge purse up the stairs, made dinner for my family, gave me a reality check(kick in the ass) when I needed it, cleaned my house, put up fall decorations, gave me a reiki treatment, a massage, bought me a gin, listened to me cry, talked me threw one of the sleepless nights,  hugged me and supported the many hard decisions that I have had to make this year.

That lesson has been a strong one.

So as I reflect on this anniversary and then continue on to the full moon, I will concentrate my energy on appreciating the season  and thank my Ancestors, Spirits and Guides as they continue to protect me. I will thank the earth spirits for the beauty of the moon shadows, the last call of the night bird, and the beautiful Indian summer that has been gifted to us.

Then, I will rest.

Sunday Ways

Growing up in central New York, Sunday's were about church,Sunday school and a big Sunday dinner.  This is were I learned many of my cooking skills as the dinner was a family cooperative but it is also how I formed the ideas and connections of honoring the Ancestors. The Presbyterian church that I was born into, was founded by my Ancestors that settled the small farming community that I was raised in.

 Behind this church, those same Ancestors are buried along with my father, nephews and many aunts and uncles.

One of my very favorite things to do after church was to walk the cementary. It is a beautiful spot, with creeks running threw it. My dad used to dig up horesradish root from these creeks and later process it in our kitchen. My mother would tell us stories about the doings and adventures of her grandfather Guy, Grandmother Emma and Guy's sister Maude. I have pictures of each of them along with many others on my ancestor altar at the end of the hall. The Presbyterian church can be very conservative, and honoring the dead was not part of the normal service to say the least and questioning my sunday school teacher about ghost was not recieved well. I wanted to talk about the ghosts that were present in the 150+ year farm house that my family (and many of the others families in the community) lived in. When I finally got a camera for my birthday-(the kind with flash cubes), I took pictures of there graves. My Dad took me to visit his father's grave on memorial day one year. I was about 11. Those pictures have been lost with time and since my father's passing, not many people visit my grandfather's grave.

 I located the cementary in 2008 when I went home for my nephew's funeral. There is also an unmarked grave of my Great Grandfather and uncle that no one can find in this same cementary. My hope is to loacate this when I go home to New York next month.

Yesterday, I had the privelage to visit the grave's of some of my husband Bo's family and honor them along with my wise sisters of my coven.

 Aunt Bev was our tour guide and was so gracious as she spoke from her heart about her memories. I am still overwhelmed today as I type and mull the memories of the day.

 We had a picnic,celebrated a birthday and shared our stories with the Ancestors. The spiked and spicey cider was delicious and kept away any chill from creeping in.We had a doe walk within 30 yards of us.
We could not ask for a more perfect day.

Ancestors-We honor you

Named and Unnamed,

 Known and Unkown,

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow.

As above, So below

We honor you.