Happy Birthday

This morning, when I took the dogs out for there morning constitutional, I heard a disturbance in the tall pines off to the side of the house. At first, I thought it was the busy squirrels. As I looked up, I could see the pine cones falling. My initial though was, the first day of fall and they know what to do. The trees have color, the fields lining the roads are golden with highlights of dark pink and purple. The beauty of this time is beyond words. I compare this vista to my wise sisters. They to have beauty that streams afar with seasoned perceptions running like deep undercurrents alerting the pines to lose there cones. How fortunate I am to have them in my life. I like to speculate on the mystical force that brought us together and the trust that we have between the 4 of us. Fate, definitely played a part in our birth, but was there another time and another place that we were together? I do not have the definitive answer; that lies within purple rimmed fields of gold.

Today is the birthday of The Wolf Spiders. We are 6 years old. That is an accomplishment. Coven years are like dog and cat years. Many Covens do not make it past the 2 or 3 year mark, yet here we are still strong and going forward. We have been thru tragedy, loss, sickness and conflicts and yet we still stand together.

By Kith and Kin,

Wise Sisters step in.

By Serpent and Toad,

we are the Sisters of old

As above, So Below

Wise Sisters,

I will see you at the cross roads

We are in our season, and this is the time of our lives.

Transition of the garden

As I approach the Autumn Equinox or Mabon, I am reminded of the work that must be done on the ridge. The physical tasks are many and with my bodily disposition, it all seems very daunting. During the warm weather months, I was able to slowly work away on a memorial garden. I immediately named it “The Ancestor’s Garden” as they were the ones that guided me; but as I transition the small space for the winter, I realize how much it represents. From the placement of a rock to the growth of a new vine, this space is very sacred. I’ve used it for my summer hearth, a meditation destination for late night dilemmas, a reverence for a lost brother and planted friendships for my dearest circle sisters, new and old. How then, do I put this to rest for the cold? It feels like the parent that moves south for the winter, leaving the adult child to deal with the impending winds that will soon change the landscape.

This is how treasured the newly arranged garden has become to my soul; greeting it in the morn as the  blooms open, saying hello as I return from my day of struggles and a  good night with a shot of Bushmill’s Irish Whiskey. My space has become a steadfast friend, a conspirator of relief- knowing that it will always be in my path as I return from each day’s journey.

 

The realization that I would need to ask for help with the upcoming tasks, came to me with a slap to the temple as I tried in vain to fix a fallen trellis the other evening. An unforgiving tree branch knocked me on the side of my head and left the inevitable goose egg.

I am struggling.

 The transition of this garden represents the changes that are upon me that I must go forward with.  Asking for help when you are the usual giver of such is not always comfortable.  

With that, I retreated to my in-door space.

 I took control of my daughter’s old bedroom some years back and made it in to my “arte of the craft” room.  It is overflowing with aspects of my workings, books, music, dance costumes to list a few, but dedicated to my Ancestors, Spirits and Guides to whom I speak with on a daily basis. I poised the question to them (Ancestors, Spirits and Guides) and they never lie to me…sometimes they speak in riddle and I must decipher what they are trying to say. But they never leave me without. My relationship with them is built on trust; this is not a one way street. We rely on each other to communicate and to do the work; and like most relationships, this took time to build. It was not a light the candle come what May situation. I had to prove myself and sincerity to them, and learn to listen….

I heard them loud and clear. 

My lesson from them is this: To be a healer you need to be healed. To understand pain, you need to feel pain. To be able to help others, you need to ask for help.

So today, 24 hours after my first surgery since my car accident, I can reflect back on the lessons of the last 2 years. The spiritual growth has been immense. Growth is not painless, if that was the case, we would not resist it. However, knowing that my pain is also a phase (sometimes a long one) gives me the gumption to push ahead.  

The transition of my garden, my summer space, needs to be shared with those that love me and look to me for kinship. What a perfect place and time to ask for help and celebrate Mabon, the birth place and date of my circle of Sisters.

 

 

I dedicate this to my brother Richard who passed away this winter.

I find myself a little melancholy as we fully enter the season of re-birth. It seems we skipped a large part of spring that I look forward to every year since I was a young child. The very beginning of newness and discovery-the time when the grass is still brown, the leaves have not begun to fully bud, let alone tulips in bloom. As a child, this is the time that I would set out in my boots and poncho and explore the field next to my house, the property behind our barns and the creek that ran behind them. The winter snows in central New York always had a way to leave strange things behind or uncovered. I remember specifically walking the field, thinking aloud and talking to whoever would listen about my discoveries. As much as I loved to muck the field, the sight of the initial stages of leaf buds and the tops of flower bulb greens poking out of the earth, always put joy in my heart. Even as a child, I was in tune to seasonal rites. I suppose we really did not skip this part of the season, it was just fast tracked and like anything else, when you do not appreciate what is in front of you, it will be gone quickly. So my lesson learned, It will not happen again to me by my own oversight.

So, with the seasonal weeks ahead of us in this circular race, many are playing catch up with their spring cleaning. I have to say that I am doing good in this particular area. A few years back, I started to put myself in the spring mind set during the Imbolc holy tides and observances. February for me, marks a transition month; a time to take stock in what you have become during the darker, hermit times and where you want to be as you emerge. The long winter nights as a child seemed like they were never ending. I won’t go into detail now (another blog perhaps)of the utter dismay that I had as a child during these nights. I will say that I have learned to embrace them as the time of great learning and healing that my body and spirit need for survival. I liken this to the animal that has shed it’s former skin or shell. When I emerge my colors are more vibrant, I feel more supple. But alas, with growth and discarding of the old comes the need for cleansing and clearing. My closet runneth over. We all know that the mundane work has to be done and much of it can go hand in hand with your spiritual, magical and mental housekeeping. However, in my life it is just as important and maybe more so to put the many lessons of the winter to creation. To do this, I must have a clear road/path. I know at this time what or who needs to be discarded. This may sound a little harsh, but when you have had a long winter of healing the hurts of your heart, it is time to go forth,  take care of yourself and your own backyard. If you have survived the winter and still do not know the truth of your heart, your path may  have many obstacles that a spring cleaning will not fix. With that said, the first full moon of spring this year falls on Good Friday. Although I am not a practicing Christian of sorts, I do have a Christian background and I recognize the spiritual energy that abounds. Why not tap into that energy and use it for your own needs?(I did this at lent with incredible results)

I will use it. I will clean up the sheds of my winter and give them to my earth spirits to recycle. I will discard those who chose not to be a part of my winter evolution, because as the wheel turns, so does the understanding of my place in this universe. I do not wish them harm, I just wish them away. The blockage that they embody upon my lane does not serve me and my wellness. I thank them for the lessons and return to them that which is theirs-

I do not need it.

I do not want it.

I will not make apologies for this practice. I am very forgiving, loving and loyal. I have a slow fuse, but like most of us, I have a limit. When I make a clearing from my path, it is not an easy choice. It comes from much contemplation. It is hard, deliberate work that must always involve my Ancestors, Spirits and Guides; but when I realize the sweet release of the blockage, I know that I am living in my truth.

This winter has come to a close, and with it the middle road has been cleared for the influx of what the future holds.

I survived the loss of family and the sorrow that is it’s twin. I lived with the hermit for respite and found the remnants of the girl in the poncho. I took her hand and we walked thru the field. Together, we found the winter’s deposit and gathered it to ourselves. We walked to the creek and thanked the spirits. We returned as one to faced the road.

Richard and I... Spring 1970

*My ritual cleansing are my own that I share with those who can listen.*